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By Andre Gide

A tender artist pursues a look for wisdom in the course of the therapy of homosexuality and the cave in of morality in center category France.

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Think a marionette who probably want to go away the degree ahead of the tip of the play. … Halt! You’re sought after for the finale. Ah! Ah! you proposal you'd be in a position to burst off everytime you cherished! … I understood that what we name our will is simply the threads which paintings the marionette, and which God pulls. Don’t you notice? good, I’ll clarify. for example, I say to myself: ‘Now I’m going to elevate my correct arm’; and that i increase it. ” (And he did bring up it. ) “But it’s as the string had already been pulled which made me imagine and say: ‘I’m going to elevate my correct arm. ’ … And the facts that I’m now not unfastened is if it were my left arm that I had needed to elevate, I must have acknowledged to you: ‘Now I’m going to elevate my left arm. ’ … No; I see you don’t comprehend. … you're not unfastened to appreciate. … Oh! I become aware of now that God is fidgeting with us. It amuses him to allow us to imagine that what he makes us do is what we would have liked to do. That’s his terrible video game. … Do you think that I’m going mad? A propos—Madame de l. a. Pérouse … you recognize she has long gone right into a domestic? … good, what do you're thinking that? She is confident that it’s a lunatic asylum and i have had her close as much as cast off her—that i'm passing her off for mad. … you need to provide that it’s fairly a curious factor that the 1st passer-by on the street might comprehend one greater than the lady one has given one’s lifestyles to. … at the start I went to determine her on a daily basis. yet once she stuck sight of me, she used to name out: ‘Ah! there you're back! come to secret agent on me! …’ I needed to quit my visits, as they just annoyed her. how will you anticipate one to care approximately existence, whilst one’s of no stable to somebody? ” His voice used to be stifled by way of sobs. He dropped his head and that i notion he was once going to relapse back into his dejection. yet with a surprising begin: “Do you recognize what she did ahead of she left? She broke open my drawer and burnt all my overdue brother’s letters. She has continuously been jealous of my brother; in particular on account that he died. She used to make scenes whilst she stumbled on me analyzing his letters at evening. She used to cry out: ‘Ah! you sought after me to visit mattress! You do issues at the sly! ’ otherwise: ‘You had much better visit mattress and sleep. You’re tiring your eyes. ’ One may have acknowledged she was once choked with attentions; yet i do know her; it used to be jealousy. She didn’t are looking to depart me by myself with him. ” “Because she enjoyed you. There’s no jealousy with no love. ” “Well, you want to let it’s a depression company while love, rather than making the happiness of existence, turns into its calamity. … That’s without doubt the way in which God loves us. ” He had develop into excited whereas he used to be conversing and immediately he exclaimed: “I’m hungry. whilst i need to consume, that servant constantly brings me chocolate. i guess Madame de los angeles Pérouse should have advised her that I by no means took the rest. it'd be very type of you to visit the kitchen … the second one door at the correct within the passage … and notice even if there aren’t any eggs. i believe she informed me there have been a few …” “Would you love her to get you a poached egg? ” “I imagine i'll consume . Will you be so style?

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